It’s none of your business………
As a kid I remember hearing that statement quite often. I used to think it was quite rude when kids at school would tell others to ‘mind your own business’ or ‘it’s none of your business’.
I couldn’t figure out why they would want to be so harsh or what appeared to me, downright rude. It seemed kind of sad seeing another 8 year old being chastised when he was only really being inquisitive, rather than trying to hone his detective skills for a career in the police or MI5.
It stuck with me for many years and I cringed whenever I heard someone utter that sentence to another person. The feeling of confrontation, rejection and being chastised filled me with absolute horror and dread.
I would feel complete embarrassment, even when I wasn’t involved in the conversation.
So a few years ago I read that sentence in a book about personal development and a huge wave of unease and anxiety ran over me. My mind immediately went back to the school playground and of fresh faced 8 year olds scowling at each other having just uttered those scary words, probably over something as trivial as a game of conkers or a game of run outs.
I didn’t see it that way for some reason. I saw it as an act of aggression and confrontation.
However, as I read through the chapter in this book, I had an aha moment. I always thought they were rather daft and a figment of people’s imagination.
But how wrong I had been.
It dawned on me that I had been looking at things in totally the wrong way. I had let that sentence or the meaning of that sentence totally affect the way I saw things. Not for the good.
The writer in the book explained that it really is none of my business what other people think or say. If I let what other people say affect the way I think, it will affect the way I do things, act and the results I get.
For years I had let what other people think or say dictate what I would wear, how I would behave or what I would do for a living. It was a fear of what people would think of me. A fear of being judged. Those thoughts kept me in a feeling of having to conform. Conform to other people’s ideas, way of thinking or living.
The sudden reality that it was none of my business suddenly hit me smack in the face and it wasn’t a feeling of anxiety or discomfort as it had always been, but one of relief that I didn’t have to be trapped by a limiting way of thinking any more.
If someone did actually comment on what I was wearing, doing, being then so what. I could choose what to do about it at the time, depending on the nature of the situation and not worry about everything before it had happened.
If they were really a friend then they wouldn’t ridicule me. But if they did, then do I really want to hang around people like that?
I realised I had a choice. I could either carry on with my old way of thinking or decide that it’s none of my business. It was quite a simple choice really.
So, sometimes the simplest of words or things can have such a devastating effect on the way we live our lives but also the simplest of thoughts or actions can also change our lives for the better.
Are there any areas of your life that are being affected by your way of thinking?
If you liked this post and would like to know more about how you can improve your way of thinking and other strategies to help you improve your performance, contact me to set up a complementary strategy session to discuss how I can best help you.