You may be like many people today, who often question whether or not they really are in control of their own lives.
For the simple reason they’re not. Often we hear people saying they’re going to end a relationship, get a different job, get healthy, get a better job, or start their own business. However, the reality is that for most, only a few short months or even a year down the line nothing ever changes.
For some though, when something does change, it’s often for the worse.
They feel time is moving on and they still haven’t managed to move forward with what they wanted to do. Frustration and stress start to be their dominant state.
Why is that?
The main reason is the dreaded Fear Factor.
The biggest stumbling block for almost every possibility we face in life comes from our fears. Much of the time this fear comes in the form of fear ridicule, the fear of what others may think about what we want or intend to do.
So whilst we say we want to be, do or have something the reality is that we are not in control of our lives due to our letting fear control us, as opposed to the other way round.
Look at it this way. When we are really young, from birth up to about 7-8 years of age, we are full of energy seeking new possibilities, whether they be good or bad and of course we have no fears. Many times I’ve seen parents, and I was one of them, rushing across the living room to stop the children from getting too close to the plug sockets on the wall, sticking their fingers in and getting zapped.
Of course this is a sensible thing to do. But the same thing happens when we spot a spider on the floor. Children don’t know the dangers of things like that and of course, it’s part of education in life to know about real dangers.
However, unlike the plus socket, a spider in the majority of countries, especially the UK, spiders are not dangerous or a threat.
Many people are frightened of spiders and immediately associate them with being a threat or danger and will rush across the room to save little Johnny or Jenny if they see one. The child will take on our thoughts, behaviours or negative beliefs related to this and will then see all spiders as a danger. Thus the fear of spiders is born.
So in what other ways does this affect us?
The fear of failure and ridicule is stopping people from achieving more of what they say they want out of. The association of failing and what others will think of them can stop even the strongest of people if they allow the ghost of this fear into their heads.
The real problem once it is in there, is controlling it, otherwise it WILL control you.
Being aware of that fear is the first step ie acknowledgement. Once we have acknowledged it then we can make a decision to do something about it. Depending on how deep rooted this fear is, will depend on the time it can take to change our thinking to outwit this devil.
The more we become aware of it then the more we can choose to either accept it or change it. The choice is always ultimately ours.
The game changer is when we discover whether the desire for what we want is in fact greater than the fear.
Have a look at your life and see where your fears may be controlling you. If you're letting fear stop you from moving forward or affecting how you perform and get results.
If any of this resonated with you, contact me to see how I can help you.